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As frustrating as it may be, your libido isn’t just a switch you can turn on and off. It depends on a myriad of factors, and sometimes, no matter how hard we try, our brains and our bodies just aren’t on the same page. You could be feeling like you want to have sex, but your body may be slow to catch up, if at all. This isn’t something you should necessarily be stressed about, because it’s way more common and normal than you might think (and stress is a libido killer). But even though some of the factors that affect arousal are out of your control, there are a few simple actions you can take to help get you in the mood…. and fast.

“Arousal discordance, or a difference between your mental desire for sex and your physical arousal state, is extremely common,” says certified sex therapist Casey Tanner, an expert for Lelo. Any number of factors may be to blame for this horniness disconnect, from stress to medications (hello, SSRIs) to ho

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